Having to spend all day with your partner in the same space is, naturally, hard on any relationship. Not only have you had to figure out how to work, and maybe parent alongside each other, you have also had to get your head around simply getting along as you move through the same rooms all day long.
Although quarantine has been beneficial for many couples who usually wouldn’t have all this time together, for others it has caused their relationship to break down completely. If you’re worried that your relationship with your partner has broken down in the last few months, take a look at these different coping strategies:
Try To De-Escalate Conflict
Even though it’s hard not to argue when you are spending all this time in such a high-pressured environment, attempting to de-escalate any conflict can help you work through a breakdown in your relationship.
If you’re finding yourself getting worked up over little things that your partner is doing, simple steps like taking a walk around the block can give you time to cool off. If you’re upset, give yourself the chance to calm down and then look at the situation with a fresh mind.
If you do want to confront your partner over something they have done, try to look as calm and non-threatening as possible. Don’t shrug your shoulders or point your fingers, and instead appear calm and self-assured and maintain eye contact when you’re expressing your feelings.
Respect Their Boundaries
A good relationship has its own personal boundaries. Especially right now, it’s important to set boundaries in your relationship so you know the limits of your partner and can avoid any unnecessary disagreements.
However, it’s not enough just to have these boundaries, they also must be respected. Familiarize yourself with the needs and limitations of your significant other, as well as your own, and work hard to negotiate compromises where you find you cannot meet in the middle.
If your relationship is relatively new, it may be the case that you have to set up new personal boundaries with your partner, since it’s unlikely that you have ever been through a quarantine situation together like this before.
Be Attentive To What Your Partner Is Saying
Even if you feel like your partner wants to start an argument with you, listen to the content of what they’re saying before you respond. It’s common for partners experiencing a breakdown in their relationship to want to interrupt each other, and dismiss the thoughts of their partner, but redirecting their attention to what the other is saying can help put a stop to any arguments before they even begin.
If your spouse begins to get distressed during the confrontation, stop the interaction until they are able to resume. You’ll be able to have a more efficient discussion that will be less based on emotions, and more on facts.
Consider Marriage Therapy
If you still feel like you are struggling to fix your relationship, talking to a professional together can help you sift through the confusing emotions of the present and get you back to the good place at the start of your relationship. Marriage therapy will help you develop a deeper understanding of who your spouse is and what their needs are, and will teach you how to communicate in a more effective manner.
However, if the love between you and your partner is genuinely gone, a marriage counsellor can also discuss possible divorce proceedings with you. If you’re sure that you’ve come to the end of the road in your relationship, reach out to professionals who can explain the next steps. As well as counsellors, consider looking for help from a divorce lawyer in Woodland Hills that is experienced in family law. Acting irrationally without foresight can be an expensive mistake, so take things slowly and reach out for help where you can.
Find Resolutions and Forgiveness
Holding on to what happened in the past can greatly affect the future of a relationship. More often than not, a breakdown in a relationship comes from a failure to resolve a previous conflict.
If you feel like you are holding on to something that your partner did before, try to resolve this issue and forgive past hurts. Be honest with your partner and bring up any previous misunderstandings that might have caused your relationship to break down over time. Finding resolutions to these misunderstandings will help you and your partner begin on a fresh slate.
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