When you have children of your own, you inevitably end up thinking a lot about your relationship with your own mother. As an adult daughter, it is important that this is a relationship that you nurture and maintain as having a healthy relationship with your parents as an adult can make an enormous difference to your own life but also the life of your children. With this in mind, here are a few tips for being a good daughter to your own mother which are worth keeping in mind even if you currently have a good relationship:
Ask For Parenting Advice
One of the best things that you can do as an adult daughter and parent of your own is to ask your mother for parenting advice. This shows that you still look up to them and value their advice, and that you believe that they were a good parent to you. Of course, parenting can be difficult so advice can be welcome for tricky situations as well!
Include Them In Family Events
Parents will enjoy nothing more than seeing their children happy, so including them in social events is a great way to show them that you are happy and enjoying life, as well as allow them to develop a special relationship. Additionally, this is helpful for getting them out of the house and being social which is so important when people begin to age and are no longer working.
Check In On Them Regularly
Following on from this, you should be checking in on them regularly, even if this is just a weekly phone call. They will not want to feel like a burden to you so may not initiate contact, which is why you need to be proactive. In addition to asking them how they are doing and if they need any help with anything, this should also simply include having a lighthearted, fun conversation with them.
Co-Ordinate With Family And Friends
Inevitably, you will start to worry when your parents begin to age especially if they are by themselves. This is why you need to co-ordinate with any siblings, other family members, friends and neighbors to make sure that you are all keeping an eye on them and checking in on a regular basis. This ensures that your parent is getting the support, care and contact that they need, which can also give you peace of mind.
Show Them How To Use Modern Technology
Many of today’s older generation do not know how to use modern technology, such as smartphones and the internet, which can be problematic. Showing them how to use this technology will make it much easier to keep in touch with them, plus it can also be useful for helping them to feel engaged and connected to the family and the rest of the outside world. As a good example, you teaching them how to use a smartphone could allow them to become part of the family group message or even follow you on social media.
Talk To Them About Their Health And Encourage A Healthy Lifestyle
Health will be an obvious concern as your parents begin to age. This can be a delicate subject, but you will find that it is best to be straightforward and simply to communicate directly about their health and wellbeing so that you can support them and work together to find the best solutions. In addition to speaking directly about their health and any issues that they might have, you should try to encourage a healthy lifestyle without being too pushy or interfering too much with their lives.
Attend Appointments With Them
If they do have any health-related appointments, it is a good idea to ask if them if they would like you to come along. This can be helpful in terms of providing moral support for what can be daunting experiences, plus this also allows you to get a better understanding of their health and talk to their healthcare provider about what you could be doing to help.
Go Out With Them
When you do spend time with your parents, you should try to go out with them as much as possible as opposed to simply staying at home – this is particularly true if they live alone and/or do not get out much. It is important for the older generation to feel connected with society and going out, even if it is just for a stroll or a coffee, can make a big difference if they spend most of their time indoors.
Help Them To Find Ways To Fill Their Free Time
Similarly, you should try to help them find ways that they can spend their free time which will be productive, enjoyable and worthwhile. Mental health is a big concern for the older generation, particularly for those that live alone and/or have mobility issues. Therefore, a few good ideas for ways that they can spend free time include activities like walking, fishing, volunteering and gardening. On top of this, activities that will engage their mind like crosswords and puzzles can also be worthwhile.
Consider Moving Them To Senior Living Communities
It is difficult when parents begin to age and lose their independence as this means that they will need some form of care and support. Senior living communities are often the best solution in this case as the best ones will provide a high level of care but also still provide freedom and independence to residents which is so important. Additionally, the communities can be highly sociable so for many older people it can be a great way to form new relationships, enjoy life and have some fun.
As a parent, you will find that you have a greater respect and appreciation for your own parents and you will want to do all that you can to nurture and maintain this relationship as they begin to age. The above advice will help you to do this and make sure that you have a close, tight-knit relationship which is so important for the whole family.
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