A few decades ago, most parents avoided conversations about sexuality and gender identity. In many families, it was a taboo topic to discuss.
But times have changed, and now we live in a more open society where sexuality is seen as an integral part of personality rather than something we should be ashamed of. Psychologists recommend parents to talk with their kids about sex and discuss similar topics from a young age.
Here are tips for parents to nail such conversations.
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Get Prepared
Sooner or later, your kids will start asking you sex-related questions, and you should be ready to provide comprehensive, age-appropriate answers. So, the best thing you can do is start preparing now.
Buy books on sexual education and find helpful resources online. Read everything before reading it together with your kids. When one day they will ask you a specific question, you will tell them, “Oh, that’s an interesting question! Let’s read a book on this topic!”
Start Early
It’s never too early to start learning the basics. The first step you can take is to teach your kids the anatomical names of their private parts. If your kids are old enough to say the words heel and eyebrow, you can teach them the words penis, testicles, vulva, and clitoris.
According to the research, children who are familiar with correct terminology tend to be more resistant to abuse and have a more positive perception of their bodies.
Talk about LGBTQ
When talking about sexuality, parents typically avoid discussing homosexuality. They don’t know how to approach this topic, so they don’t explain to the kids who are lesbians, gays, and transgender people.
However, we live in a world where the representation of the LGBTQ+ community is growing, and we can’t ignore it. Your kids see same-sex couples in public places, and they see gay and lesbian characters in movies. So, it will be wise of you to provide your children with some information on this topic.
When you talk with older kids, you should provide some examples. It will be easier for them to grasp the idea of queer sexuality. “Do you remember your auntie Merry showed up at a family dinner with another girl, Lily? They are actually a lesbian couple; they met at Taimi app, a dating app for LGBTQ+. They are fun ladies, aren’t they?”.
Talk Calmly
Many parents feel awkward discussing such topics with their kids. Their voices tremble, they feel anxious, and kids see it. As a result, children form negative associations – they feel like sex and sexuality are “bad topics” to discuss.
But you actually have an opposite task. You should teach your kids that they shouldn’t be ashamed of their sexuality and their body. Most importantly, you need to show them that mommy is here to answer all their questions and provide support. It’s crucially important because when they get older and have concerns regarding their body, sexuality, or sex life, they will be more open to discussing every issue with you.
Talk Often
It’s not enough to have a 5-minute conversation about sexuality once in two years. You should talk more often about it. You need to repeat the basics and check whether kids got it right. The more you talk about it, the more naturally those conversation will flow.
Wrapping Up
Sexual education is now more important than ever. And you, as a parent, should be the one who educates your children. You should help them understand how their body works and why they feel what they feel. If you do everything right, you will build a trusted relationship with your kids and help them develop healthy relationships with their own bodies.
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