Heightened conflict and anger are expected during the divorce process. Anxiety, depression, sadness, and diminished communication often keep parents from making rational decisions, especially regarding their children’s care. Because of this, a parenting coordinator becomes a vital pillar in the divorce negotiation process.
Here is why you need a parent coordinator.
- He resolves day-to-day issues.
- He makes minor overlooked decisions.
- It is cheaper to have a parent coordinator than a lawyer.
- A parent coordinator focuses on the child.
- He encourages joint decisions.
A parent coordinator may appear unnecessary in a process often handled by lawyers. However, they add a human face to a process often overshadowed by emotions and legal jargon.
- He Resolves Day-to-Day Issues.
Divorce often occurs when multiple issues remain hidden over months or years. Unfortunately, parents are often stuck in a loop, focusing on these issues and overlooking those that occur daily.
The parent coordinator focuses on resolving the day-to-day disputes. The aim is to calm the storm and minimize the impact of the conflict on the children. The daily dispute resolution will also keep parents from escalating the divorce issues.
- He Makes Minor Overlooked Decisions.
High conflict makes it difficult for parents to make minor decisions, such as establishing communication rules or setting up a daily schedule. A parent coordinator is legally not allowed to decide on the children’s physical custody. However, he can help parents be rational when making some of the decisions they need to make.
- It Is Cheaper To Have A Parent Coordinator Than A Lawyer
Parents share the same parent coordinator. So, they share the cost. However, when they deal with lawyers, each pays for a lawyer who will represent their interests. The costs of a parent coordinator are much lower than those that lawyers charge.
A Parent coordinator does not replace a lawyer. Their services are not confidential. However, they are helpful to the lawyers because they help resolve issues faster.
- A Parent Coordinator Focuses On The Child
A parent coordinator helps to establish peaceful co-parenting relationships. He helps parents to remember that their spousal relationship is separate from their parental responsibility. This way, the child can easily transition to the new family setup where the parents do not share the same roof.
- Encourages Joint Decisions
Most divorcing parents lose their anger and anxiety over the first three years after the divorce. Only about 8 – 15 % maintain the conflict. Most parents realize too late that they made the wrong decisions during the height of their dispute and wish they had acted differently, especially in decisions affecting their children.
A parent coordinator expects these regrets and helps parents avoid going through them in the years to come. Once the parents learn to tolerate each other, making decisions becomes more bearable.
A parent coordinator is critical to conflict management during the divorce process. They help to calm the waters, not just for the parents but the children as well.
The additional expense is worth it because even though it may not look like it, it is a form of therapy for the parents. The parent coordinator will help keep things in perspective.