The statistic that half of all marriages eventually end in divorce is well-known. However, we typically overlook the fact that the majority of separations and divorces have an impact on minor children. Many parents are dealing with guilt and worry about how their divorce will affect their children’s lives.

How can you tell if a child is going through a hard time with the parents’ divorce? Younger children may revert to behaviors that they have previously outgrown, such as bedwetting, pacifier use, and tantrums. It’s also possible that when they are separated from any of their parents, they appear more anxious or disturbed.

Older children may feel a variety of emotions, including anger, remorse, and even a sense of relief that their parents will finally get a divorce. When they are angry, they become more violent, show signs of sadness or anxiety, and withdraw or isolate themselves from others.

Top Strategies to Support Children

The experience and response of children to the divorce of their parents aren’t always the same. In fact, they can widely vary, and any divorce attorney or child custody lawyer can attest to this. 

But, there are certain strategies that you can employ which will help your children regardless of how they are reacting to the separation.

  1. Communicate Together

If at all possible, do not inform a child of the divorce on your own. It is necessary for both parents to be present. 

Communicate what’s about to happen as soon as you can, rather than waiting until the very last minute, to enable the child to prepare for future transitions or changes.

  1. Avoid Using a Child as Emotional Support

During a divorce, avoid relying on a child to give you emotional support. You can find motivation from their affection, but you should seek assistance from friends, other family members, and professionals, if necessary. Try not to complain about your future ex-spouse in front of the children, and never use your kids as messengers.

  1. Acknowledge the Negative Emotions

You may feel tempted to portray the divorce proceedings as a positive or more advantageous arrangement for all parties involved. 

Although things may improve with time, it is crucial to understand that to your children; the divorce can be sad, upsetting, and even perplexing at times. These emotions should not be swept under the rug.

  1. Encourage Relationships

No child should ever be pressured to choose between the parents. So that they do not feel torn, communicate that you want each child to have a loving and happy relationship with your future ex-spouse, and they shouldn’t hide any happy or funny stories they have with their mother or father.


Above all, never be reluctant to ask for some help should you need it. School or family counselors or even your divorce attorney like The Law Offices of Oliver R. Gutierrez can be an excellent resource during this challenging time. 

If you take responsibility for yourself and learn the more mature strategies you can employ to navigate life; you’ll have more focus and energy to give to the kids!