You’ve probably been struggling with the pain of divorce, and you may be feeling like your life is one tiny march uphill at a time. It takes time to heal yourself and your children after a divorce. Bringing balanced routines in various areas of your life and home can help speed the healing process.
Creating Routines for Kids
Keeping kids in a routine can be an essential part of their healing process. You can set up a pattern for them by ensuring they are getting regular sleep, eating regular meals, and doing other activities at roughly the same time each day. Every day won’t be the same, but you can start focusing on getting into consistent routines around morning times before school, after-school activities, and what happens as a family after dinner.
Manage Expectations with the Other Parent
Ideally, you’ll want to create routines in both homes for the kids that are similar in structure, so the children feel safer. It won’t always be possible to agree on structured activities, bedtimes, or other tasks with the other parent. When this happens, solely focus on providing routine structure for your kids in your own home. Make it as consistent as possible. If parenting at the other house is causing your children to negatively impact their mental health or ability to function in school, speak to a law firm specializing in helping divorced couples work together, such as Conscious Family Firm.
Creating Routines for Parents
Routines will vary based on whether you’re co-parenting and how much or how often your children spend time with the other parent. Just like you’re planning activities and routines for your kids, start incorporating the essential things you need into those same time brackets. Choose to place objects by the front door the night before to avoid scrambling for things like suitcases or keys after breakfast. Prepare lunch while you’re sipping your morning coffee. Schedule a regular day of the week where you’re spending time with friends or family.
Schedule Time For Self-Care
If you think you are getting the right amount of self-care, try scheduling a little more. Set aside Tuesday nights, as an example, for the creation and relishing of your favorite binge-worthy TV show, and let the kids play video games elsewhere. Start walking regularly during the day. Regular exercise, even when it’s low impact but consistent, is good for you.
Spend time on your hobbies, even if it’s just once a week or a few minutes a day. Some people have taken up crocheting, knitting, stitching, sketching, or other forms of hobbies that allow their fingers to work, freeing their minds to wander a bit. Many people find that once they add a bit more to their week, many things improve.
Lead by Example
The more you model the routines yourself, the easier it will be for the family to follow what happens next. As you build the way yourself, insisting, for example, that your teeth are brushed before family movie time begins, it will be easier to make sure they do important things when they need to be while still having balanced family time. You’re the leader of your home now. Lead by example, and your children will eventually follow.