While life after a divorce poses a brand new set of challenges for the newly separated couple, it also has a massive impact on the couple’s children, if they have any. Research and experience tell us that separated couples get over their divorce in most cases after accepting their decision or their fate. On the other hand, however, this is not the case with their kids. In most divorces, especially those that end on a bad note, the children not only seem to suffer the most, but they are also affected in terms of mental health when their parents terminate their family unit. If the children whose parents have gone through messy divorces and disagreements about child custody after divorce were psychiatrically evaluated, it would show that a direct relationship exists between the complexity of mental problems and the complexity of divorce.
This is to say that the more problems are encountered in the divorce proceedings after their parental relationship has led up to divorce, the more serious is the psychological impact on the child. Such children show varying severity of mental health problems and take far more time to normalize and accept the new normal. Therefore, it is imperative for the divorcing parents to reconcile their differences to the extent that their marriage ends on a reasonably acceptable note especially when it comes to their future interactions with and for their children.
Of course one should be aware of what the law states about the custody of the child with respect to their age and gender at the time of a divorce but at the same time, the judiciary generally is very protective and strict as far as the wellbeing of children is concerned. In the majority of the cases of child custody, the court tries to gauge the aptitude of the parents in order to find out which of the parents is more capable as far as the safety and security of the child is concerned. However, as mentioned before, a stretched-out legal battle to prove who is the better parent may not be in the best interest of the child, so for the children’s sake, it should not come to that.
In an ideal situation, the divorcing couples should discuss and agree upon child custody and visitation rights of both parents after divorce amongst themselves rather than seeking the assistance of arbitrators or legal experts simply because a third party will not understand the children and their problems better than the divorcing parents themselves.
The ideal case scenario for the child is that the parents decide for themselves about the custody after a careful thought process of the child’s age, gender, level of comfort and dependence on the parent, financial position, and various other important and relevant factors. The divorcing parents will have to sit down together and should discuss the custody of the child with each other absolutely selflessly and touching upon all the points already discussed above.
One key point that both the parents should keep in mind is that this setting should not revolve around only the child’s financial support because it has been seen that the divorcing parents sometimes give more weightage to the financial aspect of the child rather than focusing on the child’s mental and physical comfort and being. Also, child custody is not about vengeance or keeping the other parent at bay simply because he or she is the reason for divorce. Neither of the parents should use the element of child custody as a tool for vengeance on the other partner. Remember, you are divorcing each other, but you will forever remain two parts of a whole parental unit for your child.
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