Sometimes, a person’s expectations of married life is way different from how things would turn out. This could have been avoided if only these circumstances have been agreed and properly discussed beforehand.
They say the only constant thing in this world is change. Seasons, wants, priorities, and yep, even relationships and feelings are bound to change if not well taken cared of. This has been true to almost 65% of marriages all over the world. Few years after your vows, when you already have kids to tend to, financial responsibilities and personal issues to deal with, things will never really go as how you initially planned. This is why it is very important to talk to your partner about these things so that you both will have proper expectations towards eachother and how things will be once you live in the same roof already.
5 Things to Discuss and Agree With Your Fiancè Beffore Marriage
•.Setting of expectations toward eachother and the changes that may come along after marriage
I’m not gonna generalize but most husbands expect that their main responsibility is only to earn financially and provide the needs of their family. This picture will change once children are already there. The wife will have so many things in her hands and she will need her husband to help her out from dirty dishes to changing diapers. On the other hand, wives expect that their husbands will be able to read between the lines and the need to move around the house as well. That’s the reason why we get so moody whenever our husbands miss the hint that we need help too.
That’s why couples should talk about the expectations they have of eachother and the new world they are about to set their feet into. It is every important to talk about these small details because no matter how small they seem, constant disappointments and misunderstandings will change the way you see your partner and your relationship as husband and wife.
• Knowing Eachother’s Values and Beliefs
I am a member of a very big Mommy Group with almost a million members all over America. Once, there was a post from a broken hearted mommy who is contemplating on what to do because she wants her child to experience trick or treats during halloween. She already had something in mind on how to dress the kid. However, her husband doesn’t believe in halloweens and doesn’t want their child to take part on the celebration. The mommy understands and respects the differences of beliefs in between them but she didn’t have the slightliest idea that her child will not experience any of those memorable celebrations.
This is why we need to be aware of one another’s values and beliefs. Much more if you are husband and wife so that you will get a better understanding of one another’s upbringings.
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• Financial Management Matters
Will the husband hold the credit cards and debit cards for their family’s finances? Will the wife just ask for what’s needed and let the husband take a hold of everything eles? Or will the husband submit everything he as earned to the wife, let her hold all the cards, and just ask for what he needs? These things needs thorough discussions. Each side should be able to express what they think will be best for the family. I believe every spouse is different in this aspect depending on how things work for them. When I was still a full time stay at home mom, I let my husband manage all our finances and het him hold all the cards too. I will just list down what I and my kids need so he could get those for us. I’m more comfortable of that set up. There are also wives who believes that a husband who doesn’t submit every earnings he had is a no good husband.
Every couple is different in handing their finances so it is very important that these matters are well discussed before marriage to avoid constant money issues after marriage.
• Pursuing Career and Individual Goals
There are moms who chose to quit on their jobs, stay at home and nurture their kids first hand instead of getting a baby sitter. There are also some who will chose to pursue their career as a working mom to help the family in finances. Sometimes, there are even cases that the husbands are the one who will be attending their home while the wife earns for them.
Whatever the circumstances may be, pursuing a career or personal goal should be talked about before marriage so both can get ready for the changes in financial management. Mind you, raising children are very costly. Money matters should be handled carefully.
• Parenting and how the kids should be raised
Mommy and Daddy should be a team in handing family matters especially their kids. It is important to know first hand what will be your specific ways of parenting and raising your kids. Take for example, Mommy doesn’t want kids to be spanked while Daddy deeply believes that spanking is an effective means to discepline the kids. So this could be a reason for arguments between parents and confusions on the children’s side.
These things should be talked about to prepare you both as parents and as individuals who are in charge of how to raise and guide your children as they grow.
Are you confuse about how you should be as a parent; strict or an easy going one? Here is an article that will help you decide.https://www.
Marriage is a magical journey of two individuals who vowed to be eachother’s partner in everything that comes in life. Your partner has lived in more or less 20+ years without you. In the same way, you have lived a different path before you meet your spouse. It is very crucial to live together not knowing how things will be in the future. Certainly, misunderstandings and arguements are on their way, but preparing yourselves by discussing these important keys I talked about will surely make you set the mark. Change is inevitable, but being able to agree with your spouse is surely a great way to maintain a good and harmonious married life.