There is a lot of debate about whether you should continue a relationship after one or both of you has cheated. There are plenty of people out there that would say that it’s never going to work because the trust is gone and you should just end things right away. But some people argue that you can rebuild a relationship if it truly was a one off and you are both committed to making it work. However, rebuilding a relationship after infidelity is not an easy task and you both need to put some work in. If you think that your relationship is worth fighting for, here are a few important things to keep in mind.
Think About Your Reasons For Staying Together
This is so important because even though you think that you want to give things a go for the right reasons, you might be fooling yourself. In some cases, couples that have a family will stay together for the kids, not because they actually still love one another. This works for some people, but not for others, and you need to think about which side you fall on. Some people might also convince themselves they want to make it work because they are afraid of being alone or they are latching onto a romanticized idea of what the relationship was really like. It’s important that you consider your reasons for wanting to stay together and whether they are healthy or not.
Deal With The Cause Of Infidelity
Before you can move forward, you need to be honest about the cause of the infidelity and deal with it. In some cases, it may be a serious issue like one of you having a sex addiction, in which case, you need to get in touch with a sex addiction treatment center and start a program. If you don’t address the issue, this will only happen again in the future. It may also be that one partner is unhappy with the level of intimacy in the relationship and felt that they had to go elsewhere to find that. Maybe they were feeling underappreciated and it was more about the emotional connection, rather than the physical intimacy. Whatever the reason for cheating, you need to know what it is and take steps to fix it.
If one or both of you were engaged in a long term affair, it’s important that you remove the temptation to go back to that person, especially if there was an emotional connection there. That means cutting them off completely, and making clear to them that it is over. This is a vital step in the healing process and if a partner is unwilling to do that, you have to ask yourself why. If the affair was with a work colleague, which is fairly common, things can get complicated because you can’t just cut off contact. In that case, it’s important that you are transparent about any interactions that you have with the person.
The most important thing that you need is time. Cheating is a huge breach of trust and even if you do everything right, it will take a long while to build that trust up again.