Going through a divorce is never easy. This is especially true when children are involved. As a mother, your natural instinct is to try and love, support, nurture and protect them during this difficult transition. While this is absolutely necessary, what most women forget about is the importance of taking care of themselves. Neglecting their own physical and emotional needs during this life-altering experience can cause even more problems for them and their children.

Neglecting Your Needs is a Disaster Waiting to Happen

It’s true that your children need you now more than ever as they try to process all that is going on with their family. That being said, if you’re not at your best, you can’t be of much assistance to your children. You too are grieving the loss of what you believed to be your happy ending. Whether it was an amicable split or a toxic marriage, getting past this doesn’t happen overnight. When you, however, ignore what’s going on with your mind and body, it can start to look something like this:

  • Weight fluctuations

  • Weakened immune system

  • Difficulty sleeping

  • Eating problems

  • Emotional distress

  • Social isolation

  • Self-medicating with drugs or alcohol

  • Moodiness

  • Slowed productivity

  • Work-related issues

  • Memory issues

  • Short fuse (quick to anger)

  • Depression, stress, or anxiety

There is no way that if you’re suffering in this manner that it will not have a negative impact on your children as well. If you have experienced any of the above-mentioned physical or mental health problems it is essential that you get help. There are facilities where you can get treatment for self-medicating or addiction. You can learn more about clean recovery centers by visiting their website to find programs that work best for you. Other solutions would include talking with your doctor or a therapist.

How to Take Care of Yourself

So, you realize that neglecting your own needs while going through a divorce is the worst thing you can do for yourself or your children. How in the world can you prioritize your own needs while still managing to be there for your kids? Below are a few suggestions:

  • Enlist help – When going through something as difficult as a divorce you need all the help you can get. This is where your friends and family come in. They know what you’re going through can’t be easy and can be there to help you in any way possible. Whether it’s just coming over to allow you to vent and grieve, or pitching in with raising the kids by helping with homework, transporting them to school, or preparing meals, it gives you the support you need to focus on yourself.

  • Talk to Others Going Through Divorce – When you’re going through a divorce it can seem like you’re the only one who has it bad, but that’s not the case. There are millions of women, men, and children going through this grueling process. To get the support you need, reach out to others who have gone through it. Whether it’s a friend, relative, or a support group, just being able to talk through your emotions and get advice can help see you through to better days.

  • Hire a Divorce Attorney – Trying to go through the legal channels of a divorce on your own can be stressful and only worsens your health. Sometimes, the best thing to do is hire a divorce attorney who can fight those battles for you. They are there to provide advice, meditation, and to help you come to some resolve on how things will go moving forward.
  • Practice Self-Care – Now is not the time to abandon self-care. You need to love on yourself now more than you ever have. So, make sure that you maintain proper hygiene, eat well-balanced meals, exercise, and get plenty of rest. You should also take this time to do things that make you smile. Pick up an old hobby, take classes to learn something new, spend time with positive people, or do something fun with your children.

No one gets married thinking that it will one day come to an end, but it happens more often than you think. Though children are gravely impacted by the separation of their parents, you cannot be the best mother to them if you are not first, kind to yourself. If you’ve been neglecting your own health and wellbeing and have displayed any of the signs above, make the necessary changes today to get yourself and your family back on track.