Stay together for the kids is a rather common thing in the world, and it has been for a while. People are scared of making a huge step and divorce because they do not want to harm their children and their way of living.  Is staying together for the kids a wise choice, or you believe divorcing is a better choice? This is something many people found themselves wondering. Things just do not work the way we had planned when it comes to love and relationships. People fall in love, they stop loving, feel taken for granted and no longer really feel like working on a relationship that is meant to be a failure.  

Divorcing After Having Children/Child

Divorcing with kids is not an easy thing, you must take into consideration their personalities, habits, watch how you talk to them and make sure your divorce does not influence their life negatively. Children can often develop various problems with communication and social aspect of their life after their parents decide to divorce. It is not really easy for them to deal with the fact that they must spend their time separately with their parents and no longer share everything as they are used to within the family. 

Staying Together for The Kids

There are many things to look after if you decide to stay together for the kids too, no matter what you do, it will be a huge change not just for you, but for the entire family. You might be staying together for the kids, but how healthy will your relationship be? Will your relationship be a good example for them? Probably not. If you are constantly fighting with your significant other, and you barely ever manage to communicate as adults, there is a slight chance it will also affect your kids and their way of reacting to things in life.

There is a risk in staying together for kids as much as there is a risk in getting divorced. Whatever you pick, your kids will eventually get to know you two are no longer in love. 

How to Decide What Is the Best Thing to Do?

Maybe you will be able to act it all out for a month or two, but your kids will grow up and they will eventually get to know the truth. How would you feel knowing someone stayed together just for the sake of your own well-being? You would probably find it sad; everyone deserves to get divorced when things do not go as they planned. No kid will be happy seeing their parents constantly fight and never showing any love to each other. 

Sometimes it is better to let things go, your children will learn to appreciate the time spent with both of you and not develop a twisted view on relationship and love in general. Just because love and relationship have not worked well for you, maybe they will for your child in the future. Do not be the reason for their doubt for love.

If you are still doubting your decision about it all, ask yourself a couple of questions:

  • Can you communicate with your husband/wife properly?
  • Is there a chance you can repair your marriage/relationship?
  • Is there any abuse going on between the two of you or children?
  • Do you both know how to value the time spent together?
  • Do your children find it difficult to communicate with the two of you?

These questions are the first questions you should think of before you make a decision about whether you want to divorce or stay together. These questions should provide you with answers only you alone and your family knows how to answer. You are the one who knows the best how is the situation in your family, therefore, only you know what is the best thing to do. 

There Still Might Be Hope

Staying married for the kids may work out if you and your partner are willing to cooperate and try to fix things between the two of you. It takes both of you to fix the relationship/marriage. It is not all as negative as you think, big, painful changes often bring brighter mornings afterward. Learn to work together for the sake of your children and be the parent you always wanted to be. 

If Divorce Is Something You Cannot Avoid

If you are the only one feeling like you would want to keep on trying, but your partner keeps on refusing to, maybe it is best you let things go? 

You cannot make anyone else want to be the parent just because you told them to be. Be the best you can be to your kids and do not think your happiness means their sadness, it never does in the end.  There are many divorce facts out there, but it is really only up to you and your partner how it all turns out. If you are in good control of your emotions, reactions, and feelings, you will surely find a way to make it all work, if not, you can divorce and try love with someone else in the future. It is never too late to make a change, especially when the change is needed.