Love is a lot to live for but a healthy relationship is not always a walk in the park.  It takes dedication, tenacity, and practical tips to keep the spark and to protect one’s marriage from life’s ups and downs.  Here are a few tips to keep love alive and your marriage healthy.

Marriage: Keeping Love Alive

Make Time

Remember when you were first dating?  You were excited to explore the relationship and to get to know your companion.  Some couples get lazy once married.  Sure, marriage is a sign of a commitment, but no partner wants to feel as if their love and devotion is taken for granted.  Therefore, make time for your relationship and your partner just like you did when you were courting.  Don’t assume that everything is magical because you sleep in the same bed, live in the same house, and share a last name.  Marriage, just like any relationship, requires ongoing effort.

Show Kindness

You want your partner to feel special every day.  Sure, you need to make them feel special on holidays and their birthday, but small sentiments score big points any day of the year.  Do things that show you care, such as leaving post-it notes with gesture of love written on them around the home, putting your mate’s bath towel in the dryer while they’re in the shower so it’s toasty when they get out, and making them their favorite breakfast in bed for no reason, just because you love them.  

Be Empathetic

It’s easy to be selfish at times, especially if one has a bad day or is not in a fabulous mood.  However, it’s important to remember that one’s mate has bad days, feels moody, and needs to be understood too.  Be empathetic towards your partner and consider what the day was like for them.  They may appear standoffish or unreceptive to you, and such emotional tones may make you feel alienated or rejected.  However, they may have gotten stuck in traffic, had a rough day at work, or feel sick.  The best way to be empathetic is to ask questions, actively listen, and to truly understand how the other person is feeling.

Learn the Language

People are different, with varied ways of showing and feeling loved.  For example, some men are not overly verbal with sentiments of affection yet they are providers, ensuring their spouse and children have all they need and more.  That’s how some men show love.  However, the same men should be mindful that some spouses prefer to hear declarations of affection.  Therefore, they should make an effort to be more verbal, though that’s not their initial way of showing or feeling love.

Share the Load

Being in a relationship is much like being in any kind of partnership.  Sure, some partners may adopt certain roles due to strengths and preferences, but the majority of the efforts should be equal.  For example, a spouse who works a full time job and then is ‘expected’ to cook and clean the home may feel resentful or unappreciated.  Likewise, a spouse who does an uneven amount of the work regarding taking care of the kids may also feel their spouse is not sharing the load of work and responsibility.


Lisa Boyster is a minister who runs marriage guidance classes. She also regularly writes marriage guidance articles for a wider online audience, teaching ways to keep a marriage strong.