Life can throw difficulties at us all, no matter how we might like to pretend otherwise. Yet it’s also true that you don’t have to go through those issues alone. Having friends around us can be an incredible way to shoulder the tough times and feel like each step is easier to navigate. Sometimes, it’s just to keep us upright so we can make the best decisions possible.

If we would like this benefit to be extended to us, then it’s nice to extend it to others. To have friends you need to be a friend, after all. However, there isn’t always a manual to help you with this situation. For many people, dealing with the problem firsthand isn’t the cleanest or easiest task.

But don’t worry. While life rarely hands us a manual or guide, you may find some help in the following words of support. In this post, we intend to help you help a friend that’s struggling temporarily in life:

Listen Without Judging

There’s something to be said for offering solutions, and sometimes they really are the best course of action. But simply being there to listen can be overwhelmingly helpful too. Sometimes, people going through hard times don’t need to work immediately or focus on a fix right this second – they just need a space where they feel heard. If a friend opens up to you, let them talk without interruption or judgment, and try to avoid rushing in with advice or solutions even if you’re a fixer, as your friend might just need to get their feelings off their chest.

Offer Practical Support, But Respect Their Boundaries Too

When someone’s struggling, day-to-day tasks can feel pretty intense to deal with. Offering practical help can allow them to deal with whatever it is, be that funeral arrangements or doctors visits, without needing them to ask for assistance or missing out on normal things, like house cleaning or taking their kids to and from school. 

You don’t have to be a live-in maid though, as maybe you can drop by with a homemade meal, help them tidy up their space, or run a few errands together at the same time. Perhaps you’ll just be the person who helps them visit their medical appointments, or helps them go through adult autism diagnosis with Prosper Health or reliable services like it.

Check In When You Can, But Try To Do It Regularly

You might feel unsure of how often to check in, and that’s understandable, it’s usually good courtesy not to be annoying or frustrating. Just because a friend is going through a tough time, it doesn’t mean we need to be walking all over or running their lives. That said, showing care and giving them space while also checking in with them daily (or every other day)and always offering open help can be a big assistance. Sometimes a simple text like, “Thinking of you,” or, “Let me know if you need anything,” can remind them you’re there without pressing for updates or to even reply. Letting them know that can be a good place to start.

Try To Avoid Empty Reassurances

We often think that if we just said the right thing, the person involved will feel much better. But sometimes there isn’t anything you can say perfectly. 

Now, saying something supportive is hardly a bad idea, and it doesn’t mean you’re “just being vapid.” But while these statements come from a good place, they can sometimes feel dismissive or as if the person should feel a certain way if they thought like you. Instead, try to just accept that the situation sucks, they don’t like it, but then suggest there’s a better tomorrow.It’ll show you’re not there to fix them but more than willing to help them through.

Be Patient

Healing and recovery don’t follow a set timeline, as much as we would like them to. It’s pretty normal to wish for your friend to feel better quickly, but emotional struggles often need time and patience. Now, if your friend is refusing to engage in life because of a past issue like losing a loved one, and it’s been two years, yes that could indicate a deeper issue, and some more tough love might be needed then.

But for the most part, being mindful not to push for immediate improvement, as this can sometimes add pressure. If they’re taking longer than you expected to see progress, remember that everyone heals in their own time. It will also help you be patient as you help and do what you can for them as time goes on.

Gently Encourage Professional Help If It’s Needed

Sometimes we just have to admit that we can’t heal everything or help with every problem even as a best friend who wants to do all of that.

If your friend seems to be facing serious issues or are deeply suffering as a reaction to them, they might benefit from talking to a professional. It’s not easy to approach that subject, and so gently suggesting this option can be a delicate matter but still one worth taking, as you don’t want them to feel pressured or judged in that context. 

You could bring it up by saying something like, “It might be helpful to talk to someone who has the tools to support you,” or, “Therapy can be really useful – I know people who’ve found it helpful, let me help you” or something to that effect. There’s no shame in suggesting this, just make sure you do so mindfully.

Take Care of Yourself, Too

You can’t help someone if you don’t help yourself. While an emergency might mean that you don’t attend to your own needs for a time – for instance if your friend is in hospital you don’t usually care much about sleeping – you do need to care for yourself to sustain all this over time.

After all, helping someone is pretty stressful. You might have to shoulder an extra burden while running your own life too. It’s not as if you can stop coming to work, or stop caring for your own family in the midst of this. For that reason, being mindful about your own needs is important. This also means being able to say no when appropriate, as while you may wish to invest all of your energy to help a friend, you may not have the practical resources to do everything for them. Balancing this with their own family members can be a good middle ground.

Remind Them Of Their Strength

Sometimes, just having someone who believes in you and remains in your corner can do everything. It allows you to think more favorably of yourself, even if the issue was because of a mistake you made. It also allows you to draw on a reserve of strength that you might not have really thought you had access to.

So providing this to someone we respect and appreciate can make a big difference in the final outcome of how quickly and thoroughly they’re able to heal. Perhaps they just need to go on a weight loss journey after a health scare, and you decide to get in shape alongside them, believing in them, and being their cheerleader the whole way through. This adds a healthy dose of positivity in all this difficulity, which can sometimes be in short supply, and will always be appreciated.

With this advice, we hope you can more easily help a friend that’s been struggling in life, and perhaps find a better tomorrow for yourself through that too.