The marriage rate in the US is 6.2 per 1,000 people, but in 2022, there were a total of 673,989 divorces and marriage annulments. Going through a divorce is undoubtedly one of the most difficult experiences anyone can face. The end of a marriage is painful, but the legal process of divorce can make things even harder if you aren’t prepared. While there’s no way to make divorce completely painless, there are things you can do to help make the process a little easier on yourself, your spouse, and your children.
1. Seek Legal Advice
The first thing to do when considering divorce is to speak to an attorney who specializes in family law. They can provide legal advice, explain the divorce laws and process in your state, let you know what you’re entitled to, and start working on your case. Having a lawyer ensures your rights are protected and prevents issues from being overlooked. If finances are a concern, research low bono or pro bono attorneys in your area.
2. Talk to a Counselor
In addition to a lawyer, it’s a good idea to speak with a therapist or counselor as you begin the divorce process. Divorce can take a psychological toll, resulting in a lot of complex emotions. A counselor provides an impartial listening ear, helps you process feelings of grief or anger, and teaches healthy communication strategies. Joining a divorce support group may also be very beneficial. Having emotional support can help reduce stress during an already difficult time.
3. Be Reasonable with Your Spouse
It’s natural to experience anger, resentment, or bitterness when a marriage ends. However, staying calm and reasonable with your spouse, even if they are being difficult, can help the divorce go much more smoothly. Litigation tends to exacerbate tensions, while cooperation and mediation allow things to be settled more peacefully. Compromise when you can and try to be the bigger person. Also, avoid using your children as pawns. This only causes more damage in the long run – 4% of children 17 and under are exposed to trauma in their lifetime that leads to PTSD, and an acrimonious divorce counts as a traumatic event.
4. Talk to Your Children
According to divorce attorneys, 50% of children will live through their parents’ divorce, with 21% of US kids raised without a father. It is important for couples with children to break the news together. Give age-appropriate explanations, offer lots of reassurance that they are loved, and answer their questions patiently. Schedule regular family counseling to help kids adjust and discuss changes openly. If possible, create custody arrangements that allow your children to spend quality time with both parents. Protecting your children from conflict should be the top priority.
5. Take Care of Yourself
It’s essential to take care of your mental and physical health during the stress of divorce. Make self-care a priority by eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, finding social support, and doing things you enjoy. Set boundaries and learn to say no when needed.
Going through a divorce is not easy, but being prepared and keeping perspective can help you navigate it successfully. Lean on your support system, be kind to yourself and your family, and remember that better days are ahead. With patience and care, it is possible to get through divorce in the healthiest way.
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