Getting separated from your partner can be a life-changing event for your whole family. Not only you’d be losing a person that was once close to your heart, but your children are also losing a parent that they get to see every day.
No one likes to go through a separation, but sometimes, people need to go through them for their sanity and peace. However, with children, it’ll be impossible for them not to get involved as they’re also affected by the steps you’re going to take. Hence, you might want to consider hiring a family law attorney to help you settle and be more civil about what’ll happen to your children.
As you’re getting separated from your partner, you mustn’t forget that your children are going through hardships as well. As a responsible parent, you should look for ways to look after your children’s wellbeing, such as the following:
As your children are going through a difficult phase in their lives, talk to them thoroughly, ask them how they feel, and allow them to consider your conversation as a safe space. Some children may act normal during separation, but you’d be surprised how much negativity they feel inside that they choose to hide.
Take a moment alone with your children and ask them about how they feel about the situation, and encourage them to be honest and vocal as much as possible. When they bother you, you shouldn’t act outrageous about it but rather keep a calm look and listen attentively about your children’s feelings. In this way, you can have a clear insight into your children’s emotions.
Validate Their Feelings
Some children avoid saying anything to their parents because they feel that their feelings are invalid and unnecessary.
Take note that your children are going through a difficult patch, too, and what they’re feeling is valid and should be heard. When your children are opening up to you about their feelings, you should always listen attentively, avoid interrupting them, and tell them that they shouldn’t feel that way.
You should inform your children that you understand what they’re going through and what they’re feeling is normal. You could also say that you know how it feels sad without the other parent around. Let the kids feel normal about their emotions because it is.
Encourage Good Relationship To Both Parents
Always remember that you and your partner are the ones who are getting separated. While it can be difficult not to get your children involved, they will be since one of you need to move out from your household.
No matter how awful your break-up is, you shouldn’t say wrong phrases about your partner in front of your children, especially if they were a good parent to them. No matter how frustrating and annoyed you are with your partner, your children should have a good relationship with both parents.
Ideally, you should have a set day and time to go with the other parent and spend their time with them. In this way, they won’t lose contact and they’re in touch with their parents, keeping them happy and sane.
While it can be difficult, it’ll be best if you could practice co-parenting for the benefit of your children and set aside your conflicts just for them.
Don’t Fight Infront Of Your Children
No matter how intense you are in a heated argument with your partner, always try to keep your cool and avoid exchanging awful sentences with your partner, especially when you have your kids around.
When your children see that you’re fighting in front of each other, it’ll just bring the reality that they’re trying to avoid to their faces. It’ll make them sad as they think it’s getting more severe and unfixable. No matter how decided you are about getting separated, your children would still cling to a little hope that everything will be okay, and your family will be back together.
If you’re ever in a debate with your partner, try to keep it civil and lower your voices as your children might hear and overthink your arguments.
As you and your children communicate about what’s happening and what’ll happen soon, you should try to offer as much support as possible. You shouldn’t forget that your children are involved with your separation and that they’re going through a hard time as well.
Ask your children how you can help them feel better, and try to do that as much as possible. If your children cannot provide you with answers, you can suggest different ways to take their minds off things temporarily.
As much as you try to keep your children out of your separation, they’ll always be involved, especially when the other parent leaves the household. Always communicate with your children about making things better and ask them their honest emotions about the situation. In that way, you can further understand your children and be there for them all the time.