A married couple shares everything in their life regardless of emotional, physical, or monetary needs. Money is one topic that is never off the list of conversations between couples. Ironically, it is also a leading cause of divorce among many couples. As sad as it sounds, it is true. It happens with millions of families around the world.
Debts are common problems most people face, and sometimes one partner brings the debt into the marriage. It is best to face the problem together as a team and fix the debt problem together with your partner. It will help you ease the situation, and you may be able to get a quicker repayment process. In this way, the happy future with your partner isn’t compromised.
The last thing any couple would want is a divorce. And it’s all because of debts. Different people will react differently. However, the key role here is to be truthful about it. Regardless of how they are going to react at first, you need to tell them about it. Some of them might react harshly but make sure to give them time. They will eventually come around to it.
1. Why Should You Tell Your Partner About Your Debt Before Marriage?
It becomes even more difficult when you have to tell your partner before marriage as there is a vast difference between a married couple and a regular couple. You need to be as transparent as possible with your partner. You can’t be one foot in and one foot out in a relationship, especially when you are about to get married. Marriage is for a lifetime, and trust is the key factor here.
When you have tons of debt, the last thing you would want is to burden your loved ones with it. So, it is always healthy and best to let your partner know about it. Dealing with debt problems can have adverse effects on your physical and mental health. Having a person to share and support, you can make the matter lighter and more straightforward. You might feel like a burden taken off your shoulder.
It is essential, to be honest with your partner about your debts to maintain overall honesty in the relationship. The matter will only get worse if you hide the truth about your debt from your partner. Such actions will show you in the wrong light leading to your partner losing faith in you. It will also become the leading reason for increased fights in the marriage.
You deserve to know the truth about your partner, so they also have the right to know everything before marriage. It is healthy to discuss finances before getting married as it leads to happier times after marriage. Disclosing your debt problems will also help your partner prepare for further actions. Honesty is the best policy when it comes to such topics.
2. What Should Your Partner Know?
It is essential to convey to your partner the following:
- Why you have debt? (reason)
- How much of the debt you paid, and how much remains outstanding?
- If creditors are dunning you for the debt payment or if there are legal actions charged against you?
- What efforts have you undertaken to pay up your debts?
As long as you are clear about the above questions, it will not be hard to explain to your partner. Have the answers ready and calmly explain all the points one by one without confusion. Avoid panicking and beating around the bush. Your partner will understand because they love you.
Suppose they ask to see documents; make sure to provide it as well. You can share your plan of action on making good the debts to your partner. In this way, you are having healthy communication with your partner in stressful times such as this. Don’t be scared and lean on clear interaction.
It would be even better if you can get their opinion or solution if they were in the same situation. Maybe your partner can come up with a better approach that you may have overlooked in the past. An outsider’s perspective might bring a wholly different solution to the problem. You need as many ideas and solutions as you can. Your partner will help you get a better view of the problem from the outside.
3. Best Way to Tell Your Partner
Every person has a particular method of conveying to their partner about their debts. However, you can check out these neat ways as well:
- Plan on a day when you both do not have prior engagements. With free time you can discuss the problem in detail without interruptions. The weekend would be a perfect time.
- You must maintain a controlled and calm manner. Your partner will be hearing about the issue for the first time, so give them space. There is no harm in rehearsing, as many people feel comfortable if they prepare properly. However, it would help if you had the answers to any questions they may ask.
- Honest is, above all, so maintain full transparency. Do not leave anything out in your narration. You don’t want to bombard your partner with left out information in the future. It is best to put everything out on the table for your partner.
- Show them proof of your debts and debt solutions you are working on to clear it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner doesn’t trust you. But providing legal documents help better the situation. Plus, it will put them on better headspace.
- Make a thorough research of how debts affect relationships, lifestyles, etc. Make them understand how it can affect them as well. You need to be as honest as possible. Avoid sugar coating the situation and give it a reality check. They won’t love you any less because of it.
Preparation is key. So, when such conversations are about to take place, make sure it is just the two of you at home. Also, make sure they know you are serious about what you are about to discuss with them. Do not approach the subject casually.
Debt is such a sensitive and stressful topic. So, avoid holding this conversation with your partner in front of people. Find some alone time with your partner and approach the topic with conviction.
4. Does Your Debt Affect Your Partner?
No, as long as there are no joint credit accounts, it will not affect your partner. However, it affects any future credit applications. It is advisable to reassure them that you are trying your best to increase your credit score. Also, assure them that you will get back on track before the next joint credit application happens. Do not stop comforting them and show them the positive side of the situation.
Debts aren’t non-repayable in any shape or form. You can pay them off down the line regardless of how long it takes. So, imagining a better and stress-free future with your partner isn’t far-fetched. Make sure to always comfort them. It is healthy to ask them about how they are feeling from time to time.
Regardless of the promises, you make to your partner, make sure to repay the necessary credits. It can pose a massive problem in the future if you apply for joint credit with your partner. Even if your partner has the perfect credit score, lenders will still reject it if your credit score is less.
5. What Should You Do After Telling Your Partner?
It is crucial to keep up with your words and show by action that you are trying your best. Also, find exciting activities that the two of you can do to restore the trust in the relationship. It will help distract you and your partner from this headache. You need all the help that you can get through this situation with your partner.
Apart from all that, it would help if you found ways to improve the credit score. Abiding by highly effective solutions can help solve the problem. You can try the following solutions:
- Start by paying up your outstanding bills. Make sure to maintain low balances on other revolving credit and credit cards.
- Make sure to pay the bills on time without any more default. Lenders have a keen interest in how reliable you are, so your regular scheduled payment will help.
- You can increase credit score by making cell phone and utility payments on time. It is highly advisable to avoid delaying clearing your bills. The bills imply to all of your regular monthly expenses.
- Opening up a new credit card and keeping it at zero balance can help your credit score over time. Just make sure you can handle having it at zero. Be cautious with it to avoid any future mishaps.
- Continue to maintain and keep the unused credit cards. Don’t keep them unattended. Proper maintenance is needed to level up the score.
- Make sure to keep track of your credit reports from the various credit reporting bureaus. You will get immediate information regarding any inaccuracy in the credit report.