Life after kids isn’t always straightforward. You do need to make sure you take your responsibilities and commitments seriously as a parent, but at the same time, you shouldn’t let your own life fall by the wayside. You still have to enjoy yourself, have fun and make the most out of your life because at a certain age we guarantee you that’s what your kids are going to start doing. They’ll be dependent on you when they’re young one hundred percent, but eventually, they’ll get older, and it will be time for them to leave the nest. At this point, all that will be left for you is whatever you built up in your spare time while raising your children.
If you’re lucky, that means you’ll have thriving hobbies and passions that you love and, a healthy relationship with your partner. It’s that part that we want to focus on today because if you’re not careful too much focus on your kids can leave your relationship in tatters. You have to work to keep the spark in a relationship and ensure that it is still healthy long after your kids leave home. But how do you do this?
Keep An Open Dialogue
The first step is to make sure you that you are keeping an open dialogue with your partner. Make sure that if anything is bothering you, you do let them know and encourage them to do the same. So, you might feel as though your partner is spending too much time at the office. Or, perhaps, they’re spending too much time working on something like their car at the weekend. Don’t suffer in silence here because chances are that your true feelings will come out in passive aggressive actions from sudden spouts of silent treatment to fewer moments of affection. This is always going to strengthen the gap between you rather than bring you closer together.
Communication is key. Remember, you might want to avoid an argument, particularly if your partner has already stressed how much they hate arguing with you. But here’s the secret. Arguing is good. Obviously, try to avoid full-blown shouting matches, but heated conversations are important. They show that you are both still passionate about the relationship and making it work. When arguments cease completely, there’s a good chance that no one can be bothered fighting anymore.
Do Date Night Right
Date night is something that you should make time for each and every week in your relationship even after kids. We know what you’re thinking here. I just don’t have time to head out each week! Well, then you have a problem because you won’t be getting the much needed moments of romance that your relationship needs. In the past, we have seen that there are some great restaurants for a romantic evening out so don’t avoid this possibility. Call up a babysitter, dress up and head out for the evening with your partner. This is just what you need to keep your marriage fresh.
Of course, it’s not just about going out for an evening together. That’s a great start, but it’s not the full story. You need to make sure you’re talking to one another on the date. You’ll find there are plenty questions to ask a guy to get him talking, even if you have known him for years. Ask about sports, mention the latest movies hitting the cinemas in a few weeks. Try to avoid topics that are going to kill the mood like finances or issues at work. You should try and create the type of situation that you might be in if it was your first date. This will allow you to create an atmosphere filled with romance, passion, mystery and excitement. Some couples even roleplay and pretend they are meeting one another for this first time. We’re not sure you want to go this far, but it might be worth a shot.
Little Things Mean A Lot
It’s not just about the romantic gestures. Yes, you can buy your lover a gift or treat them to something rather special for their birthday. You might even do something completely random out of the blue, surprising them with tickets away for a romantic weekend. These are all wonderful ideas, but the true heart of keeping a marriage alive and well will be in the small gestures. Something as simple as not relying on your partner to complete the worst chores around the home. These jobs need to be shared. You might think, well I can cook and he can’t. Here’s a thought, get him to learn. If he truly is committed to your relationship, he will put in this type of effort and vice versa.
Little gestures matter, they really do. Everything from texting a sweet message on a day when you know your love is going through a rough time to being there for them when they get home is what we’re looking for here.
Let’s Talk About Intimacy
We were always going to get here eventually. A relationship can’t thrive without intimacy, even after you have kids. You should still be intimate regularly, and yes, it can get a little dull ten, twenty, thirty years down the line but there are always options for spicing things up a little. I won’t get into the details here, but a little research will show you what I’m talking about. Again, it’s about adding a little more romance and excitement to the typical recipe of being home alone without the kids.
Add a dash of spontaneity and a dollop of passion and see where the night takes you.
I hope you can use this advice to keep the spark alive in your relationship after you have kids. When you first become a parent, it can seem like your kids are your whole world. They need protecting, constant care and attention but it’s not always going to be that way. You shouldn’t neglect other parts of your life when you have kids, and that includes the relationship you have with your partner.