Divorce is tough for everyone involved. You’re juggling emotions, processing the end of your marriage, and figuring out the practicalities of splitting up. On top of that, your child’s well-being also has to be front and center. Kids feel the effects of divorce deeply, and how you handle this transitionary period can shape their mental health for the rest of their lives. Here, we’ll break down the six top pieces of advice for protecting your child’s emotional wellness when you’re going through a divorce.

Mom and daughter in the kitchen

Understand the Impact on Your Kids

Every family is different, so kids react to divorce in many ways depending on factors like age and upbringing. Younger children may be confused or blame themselves. Teens commonly display anger, withdraw, or act out. All these emotional responses are normal. The important thing is how you handle them. 

During what are often tumultuous times, one of the best ways to ease your child’s anxiety is to create a stable custody arrangement. The sooner your child knows what to expect, like who’s picking them up from school and where they’re spending the holidays, the better. This is why it’s important to hire a good divorce attorney to help you reach a custody agreement as efficiently as possible.

Encourage Open and Age-Appropriate Communication

Keeping your kids in the dark about what’s going on will only add to feelings of stress and frustration. Your children need to know what’s happening, to a certain extent. Be honest, but keep it simple. That means leaving out the gory details and focusing on what’s important, like, “Mom and Dad are separating, but we both love you and will always take care of you.”

Whatever you do, do not criticize your ex in front of your kids. It can hurt them more than you realize.

Maintain Stability and Routine 

When parents are getting divorced, to the child it often feels like their whole world is up in the air and nothing is certain anymore. In this scenario, routine is your best friend. Stick to regular mealtimes, bedtime, and other daily schedules. Make sure you keep up with their extracurricular activities like sports or dance clubs to give them a sense of normalcy. The idea is to remind your kids that while there will be some adjustments, not everything is changing. 

Additional Advice 

Here are a few more tips to help you manage your child’s mental health during a separation:

  • Be mindful of your own emotional health: You are your kids’ emotional anchor and role model, so it’s essential you make time to look after your own health. 
  • Work on a positive co-parenting relationship: When parents work together, kids feel more secure, so do whatever you can to maintain a civil and cooperative relationship.
  • Don’t be afraid to seek professional help: If your child shows signs of prolonged sadness, anger, or anxiety, a therapist or counselor can help them process their feelings in a healthy way. 

Final Thoughts

Divorce is a lot to deal with, but it doesn’t have to leave scars on your child’s mental health.  It will probably be a bumpy ride, but just show up, stay patient, and put their needs first. Focus on open communication, stability, and creating a reliable support system, and you can help your kids emerge from this process stronger and more resilient than ever.