Living with a chronic illness can affect a person’s academic or professional career, and it can also have a negative effect on one’s overall quality of life. Having to keep yourself healthy and independent can be a challenge when you’re fatigued or in pain, and things can become even more difficult if you choose to have children. According to a study, approximately 4 to 12 percent of people grow up in a household with a chronically ill parent. 

Being diagnosed with arthritis, diabetes, cancer, or heart disease can make you feel inadequate as a parent, especially when you’ve always dreamed about taking a highly active role in your child’s life. However, there’s no reason to feel guilty about this, nor should you apologize for the state of your health. Know that there are ways to become an active and involved mom or dad while coping with a health problem, and if you’re always in pain, there are things you can do to get through each day and be the kind of parent that your little one needs. 

Talk to Your Kids About Your Health Condition

Young kids often think that their parents are invincible, and that there’s nothing in this world that they can’t do. That’s normal, and it’s why your kids won’t immediately understand why some things have to change after you’ve been diagnosed with a chronic condition. Instead of letting them wonder why you’re traveling less and less as a family or why you’re always sitting down instead of playing tag with them at the park like you used to, be honest with your children and talk to them about your health. 

Be frank and explain matters in simple terms to help them understand, and let them know how your condition affects you. For example, if you’ve been diagnosed with a heart disease like arrhythmia or tachycardia, explain that your heart isn’t working the way it used to and it’s why you can’t do certain activities since it can make you feel worse. Also, reassure them by letting them know that you’re doing something to improve your condition. You can tell them that you’re taking medicine and undergoing a treatment called a pacemaker insertion, which can help to regulate your heartbeat. 

Find a Different Way to Bond with Your Child

It can be heartbreaking to say no to your child whenever they want to engage in active play with you, especially if chronic pain or mobility issues are preventing you from doing so. If this is the case, find a way to meet your child’s needs without triggering your symptoms or endangering your health. So, for instance, if you have chronic back pain or Lyme disease, ask your child if they’d be willing to try a different type of play with you. Instead of hide and seek or catch, see if they’d like to play Snakes and Ladders, or perhaps they would prefer to color or do a puzzle with you. This way, you still get to have some quality time together while you deal with chronic pain. 

Ask for Help

There’s nothing wrong in asking people for help once in a while. Parents with chronic illness should have friends and family members that they can depend on to care for their kids if they need to go to the hospital or if their symptoms flare up, so talk to your loved ones and see if they’d be willing to step in while you take care of yourself. Maybe your sibling can play catch with your children after school, or perhaps your mom can check whether the kids need help with their homework.

If you’re at the hospital during your child’s performance at a school play, see if your best friend can attend and film it for you. Allowing other trusted adults to pick up the slack in your time of need is one of the best ways to reassure your child that someone will always be there for them, and that you’re always looking after them even if you can’t be there.

Parenting while coping with health issues can be difficult, but not impossible. Try these tips to raise a happy child while prioritizing your health and well-being at the same time.