As parents, we all want to raise children who are both confident and kind. One powerful tool we have in our parenting toolkit to help our children develop these qualities is praise.

When used effectively, praise can boost self-esteem, encourage positive behaviors, and help children develop a growth mindset. Here are five ways you can use praise to raise confident and kind children:

  1. Be Specific With Your Praise

Instead of general comments like “Good job!” or “You’re so smart!”, be more specific with your praise—for example, say, “Thank you for sharing your toy with your sister. That was very kind of you.”

By being specific, you’re not only praising the outcome, but also the effort and thought process behind it. This helps build confidence in your child’s abilities and reinforces positive behaviors.

While you might find great educational toys at the best online baby store, it’s how you praise your child’s interaction with these toys that really makes a difference in their development.

  1. Focus on Effort and Progress, Not Just Results

While it’s natural to praise children for their achievements, it’s equally important to recognize any progress that they make. This approach helps develop a growth mindset, where children believe their abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.

For instance, you might say, “You’ve been practicing your letters every day, and I can see how much your handwriting has improved!” 

Focusing on effort and progress teaches kids that hard work pays off and that they can improve with practice.

  1. Encourage Kindness and Empathy

Praising children when they’re kind and empathetic helps them understand why these qualities matter and encourages them to act this way more often. Keep an eye out for moments when your child is kind or thinks about how others feel. 

Another good moment to praise might be, “Thank you for playing with the new kid at recess. I bet that made them feel welcome.” When you praise these good behaviors, you’re showing your child that kindness is important and this can help them learn how to get along well with others.

  1. Use a Warm and Genuine Tone

The way we deliver praise is just as important as the words we use. Children can sense when praise is insincere or given out of obligation.

Make sure your tone is warm, enthusiastic, and genuine when praising your child. Make eye contact, smile, and use their name to make the praise more personal and impactful.

Remember, you don’t need to praise every little thing your child does. Over-praising can lead to children becoming dependent on external validation. Instead, save your praise for moments when your child has truly put in effort or shown growth.

  1. Encourage Self-Reflection and Self-Praise

While it’s good to praise children, it’s also important to help them recognize their own accomplishments and efforts. This helps to build internal motivation and self-confidence. You can do this by asking them questions that make them think about what they’ve done.

For example, ask “What was the hardest part of your project, and how did you figure it out?”

You also want to encourage your child to feel happy about their successes and to notice when they’ve worked hard. This helps them develop positive thoughts about themselves and not always need others to tell them they’ve done well.

Praise Them With Care

Implementing these praise strategies can have a profound impact on your child’s confidence and kindness. But remember, the goal is not to raise perfect children, but to nurture well-rounded individuals who believe in themselves and care for others.