Going through a divorce can be a traumatic experience no matter how peaceful the process is with your former spouse. You’re not only dissolving a marriage, but you’re also losing someone you considered to be your life partner, and potentially your best friend.

Although grieving your partner and the life you’re used to living are obvious losses, there are many unexpected situations a divorce can bring forth. 

Here are a handful of those potentials.

1. Financial strain

After building a life based on two incomes, or depending on your partner for income, you’ll need to restructure your life financially. Even when you have an income, you probably won’t be able to afford everything you’re used to buying. Chances are, you’ll need to adjust your budget significantly, cut out all unnecessary expenses, and redefine what you consider “essential.”

One thing that can help is getting an attorney to handle your divorce. Even if you and your former partner are at peace with each other, some aspects of divorce can get complex. For example, custody agreements and property distribution are not always simple tasks. An attorney will ensure you get a fair distribution of property, along with alimony if you’re the spouse who earns less money. These matters can be difficult to address on your own, and an attorney will make sure you don’t get the short end of the stick.

2. Lost friendships

The mutual friends you made while married might feel pressured to choose sides, and that can lead to lost friendships. Even true friends might have a hard time with your situation, but try not to make them feel like they need to choose. You won’t be hanging out together, but let them know they don’t have to take sides, and you don’t mind if they stay friends with your ex spouse.

3. Losing your identity

After being married for a while, you’ll start to develop a sense of unity and shared identity with your partner. It’s not always apparent, but you’ll likely feel the loss of identity when you complete your divorce. This might present as feeling lost, like you have no purpose. Your role in the relationship won’t exist anymore, and that’s a major life change.

4. Major lifestyle changes

Financially, you’re likely to experience major changes, which will require a lifestyle change. For example, if you’re used to living in a big house and driving luxury cars, you’ll probably need to downsize to a small house or even an apartment. If you were making high car payments, you might have to sell your vehicle and buy a used car that has lower payments, or buy it outright.

Other lifestyle changes might include not being able to go out to restaurants all the time, having to cut back on entertainment, and anything else that comes with downsizing when you no longer have the finances to support your usual life.

5. Physical health issues

Grief has a way of impacting the physical body in unexpected ways. It’s possible that you’ll feel exhausted or lethargic, and you might end up with aches and pains you can’t explain. For instance, some people feel hip pain, joint pain, and sometimes even chest pain. Sometimes this can be caused by stress and anxiety.

Try to find ways to relieve stress, like meditation, yoga, and other gentle practices. It also helps to create a self-care routine, like taking a hot bath at night and drinking chamomile tea before bed.

6. Legal delays

In a perfect world, your divorce would be as easy as signing the paperwork and waiting for approval. In reality, that’s only part of the process. If you submit your paperwork and anything is incomplete, inaccurate, or you missed a spot you were supposed to sign, your case will be sent back to the bottom of the pile and you’ll be asked to fix the issue.

There are other potential reasons for delays, like not agreeing on property negotiations, or various disputes. Most people can count on at least one delay, so be prepared for that.

On a positive note, you might start loving life more

Although most of the changes you’ll go through during and after a divorce will feel negative, there is a big potential for positive change. Many people end up feeling free after their divorce, and find their true calling in life. For some people, getting a divorce ends up being exactly what they need to thrive.

Everyone experiences divorce differently, and you can’t predict how things will turn out. All you can do is take things one day at a time and be prepared for surprises.