Going from one child to two – or more – is a big transition. It is not only a big change for parents, but for kids too. I remember when my second was born and my husband was juggling school and a career, so I was on my own a lot. It was a challenge for sure! Looking back, here are some tips I learned along the way.
Prepare as much as possible ahead of time.
If you nested and made freezer meals for your firstborn – prepare even more for the second! All those times I had a crying baby and a toddler that was hungry or melting down, the house was a mess and I was exhausted — it made sense to just go crazy stocking up with toilet paper and making buckets of mashed potatoes to freeze.
Rest when you can.
You know how people always say to sleep when the baby sleeps? Well if you ever have the chance to grab a moment of sleep because BOTH kids are asleep, do it! It was a rarity for us and it felt heavenly to take a nap! (The dishes can wait!)
I don’t have much family locally, and we were also fairly new to the area, so help was kind of hard to come by. I also have a hard time accepting help. But if people offer to help, accept it. We so deeply appreciate those who helped us – whether it was a co-worker that sent us a bagel platter or family that visited and helped cook and clean. Every little bit helps!
Make special time with your toddler.
The transition from being a single child to having a new baby is tough. So when the baby was napping, I did my best to try to have special time with my firstborn, whether we read or did a puzzle or a craft. Even as the kids got older, I would try to do something special like get out beads and do a craft – something that we couldn’t necessarily do around a baby that would put everything in their mouth. It helps to have that one-on-one time.
Prepare extra activities for your toddler for when you need to take care of the baby.
I remember struggling to keep my toddler entertained while I was taking care of the baby – like during nursing or putting the baby down for a nap. You may want to invest in some ‘busy’ ideas for your toddler, whether you buy some new toys or just stock up on a bunch of coloring books, or perhaps save screen time/TV time for when you really need it (like when the baby is crying because they are hungry and tired!).
Don’t plan a lot of transitions for your firstborn.
Your first born child has a lot to deal with when the baby arrives. It helps not to add in other changes – like transitioning to a big kid bed or starting a new school, etc. And on the other hand, for yourself, it is probably beneficial not to try imposing big changes either, such a potty training, because that is a lot of commitment to take on at one time.
Strollers, carseats, etc.
Figure out the best configurations for car seats, strollers, and more to make your life easier. I recommend investing in finding the best tandem stroller you can, and perhaps a baby carrier.