If parenting is hard, co-parenting can feel like an Olympic sport, one that requires patience, communication, and the ability to smile through gritted teeth at 7 a.m. drop-off. Whether you’re newly separated or a few years into your co-parenting journey, one truth stands out: it’s not about perfection, it’s about progress.

To help moms navigate the ups and downs of shared parenting, Brampton family lawyer Manjeet Kaur, with Kaur Law shares her practical (and surprisingly hopeful) advice for keeping the peace, for the sake of the kids and your sanity.

1. Remember: You’re Running a Business Together, and the Product Is Your Kids

Manjeet likes to remind parents that co-parenting is a lot like running a small company. “You may not be married anymore, but you’re still in a lifelong partnership, the business of raising children,” she says.

That means separating emotions from operations. You don’t have to like your co-parent, but you do need to communicate respectfully, share updates promptly, and show up for important “board meetings” (a.k.a. parent-teacher interviews and dance recitals).

Try these simple shifts:

  • Use email or co-parenting apps for logistics, it helps keep messages neutral.
  • Keep discussions focused on the kids, not old grievances.
  • Think of yourself as a teammate, not an adversary.

In Manjeet’s words, “If you wouldn’t yell at your business partner over a late spreadsheet, don’t yell at your co-parent over a forgotten permission slip.”

2. Create a Parenting Plan That Actually Works

A clear, written parenting plan is your best tool for peace. “The number one cause of conflict between co-parents is vague expectations,” says Manjeet. “Who’s picking up the kids? Who pays for what? How are holidays divided? Put it all in writing.”

A well-crafted plan should cover:

  • Schedules (including holidays and vacations)
  • Decision-making authority (medical, education, extracurriculars)
  • Financial responsibilities
  • Communication guidelines

This isn’t just legal paperwork, it’s a roadmap that helps both parents (and the kids) feel secure. And yes, plans can evolve. Review them annually or as your children grow. A little structure goes a long way toward reducing those “But you said…” arguments.

3. Don’t Let the Kids Be Messengers

It’s tempting to let your child tell your ex about a schedule change or new activity, but that’s one of the most common mistakes Manjeet sees. “Children should never carry adult messages. It puts them in an impossible position and fuels anxiety.”

Instead, keep communication direct between parents, even when it’s awkward. Use shared apps like OurFamilyWizard or Cozi to manage calendars, expenses, and updates without involving the kids.

If communication is tense, stick to text and keep it short and factual. A simple, “Soccer game changed to 5:00, same field,” works better than, “If you ever checked your emails, you’d know soccer changed again.”

4. Make Transitions Smooth and Drama-Free

Exchange days are tough, for both kids and parents. The goal? Keep them boring. “When handovers become emotional, kids feel caught in the middle,” Manjeet explains.

Tips for smooth transitions:

  • Pack everything the kids need ahead of time.
  • Keep goodbyes short and positive.
  • Never argue at the door (or in the driveway).
  • Have a routine, like a quick snack or show, to help kids settle in.

Predictability gives children a sense of safety, even when homes change.

5. Give Yourself (and Each Other) Grace

No one gets co-parenting perfect, not even family lawyers. There will be late pickups, miscommunications, and days when you wonder how you’ll make it to bedtime without crying or cursing.

“Perfection isn’t the goal,” Manjeet says. “The goal is to raise happy, emotionally secure kids who see their parents cooperating, even when it’s hard.”

Take breaks when you need to. Lean on friends. Celebrate the small wins, a peaceful exchange, a calm conversation, a shared smile. Those moments matter.

Co-parenting without chaos doesn’t mean co-parenting without challenges. It means choosing respect over resentment, structure over spontaneity, and teamwork over tension, one day at a time.

Because at the end of the day, you and your co-parent share something far more important than your past: your children’s future. And that’s a partnership worth protecting.