In the wake of a death, it can be difficult to know what to do for those left picking up the pieces. Grief impacts us all in very different ways, which makes it difficult to know the best way to support someone throughout the grieving process.
What works for one person might not work for another. And you also have to navigate the ups and downs of grief. What is helpful at one point might be unwelcome at another. In short, supporting those going through the grieving process is complex, but this shouldn’t stop you from trying your best to be there.
If you’re thinking about the best way to show that you care, consider the following gift ideas, which are a little less conventional than other gift guides.
Give them a task
This might sound counterintuitive – after all, they already have enough on their plate – but many people respond well to feeling like their contribution is not only welcome but also required.
It’s hard to “give” a task as a gift, so instead think of this as offering a suggestion for something that might help them to process their feelings. Getting out in nature is one of the best ways to cope with grief, so you could suggest that they start to plan a memorial garden.
Once completed, the garden will need to be maintained, which will provide moments of peace and solitude throughout the year and into the future.
Give them a keepsake
A simple keepsake, like memorial jewelry or ornaments containing the ashes of their loved one, can provide support in times of need. Jewelry is a great choice as it is subtle and understated. The individual can reach for this small token in times of need and feel the support of their loved one and their community.
Give them your time
Offering to help the individual by giving your time is often the most touching gift you can give. They might need help clearing a property, or they might need help with childcare while they deal with life admin.
Offering your time as a gift is a simple way to let someone know that you care about them. It’s common for people to try to turn down this type of support, as they will instinctively want to handle everything themselves. Make it clear that you want to help, and it would also be meaningful to you if they feel comfortable enough to accept your support.
Give them something to look forward to
In the midst of grief, it can be difficult to see how life can continue as normal. You might want to give them a large gift as a gesture, but you just know that they aren’t in a position to be able to appreciate or enjoy it. This will make them feel bad for not being more present and able to accept your gift.
Instead, give them a gift they can use in the future. This could be vouchers for days out with their kids at a date in the future when things feel less heavy. You might surprise them with a holiday home for a week. There are lots of gifts you could give that they could redeem in the future.
Give them surprise support
In the immediate wake of a death, friends and family will be everywhere and ready to offer their support. After a few months, the pain might feel fresh, but the support may have dropped away as people get on with their lives. This is the best time to continue offering surprise support to let someone know that you truly care about them. It’s the best way to show that they don’t have to be okay right away and that you’ll still be there to support them as they grieve on their own schedule.
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