When a couple enters the institution of marriage, they look forward to many years of happiness. According to an article published by wevorce, most people will consider their marriage successful if they are happy 75% of the time. Unfortunately not all marriages are happy, but in most cases the couple just need to be taught some simple guidelines on how to keep their marriage fresh and fulfilling.
Christian marriages have a great potential to be the happiest because the foundation of a Christian marriage is God Himself, who is the author of this institution. If you are in a Christian marriage and you are honestly not happy, then we suggest you take note of the following things. They have proven to be effective in building long-term happiness in marriage:
- Focus on the positive traits in each other. Remember the positive traits that initially attracted you to your spouse. Do not focus on the negative because this will only serve to make you blind to the positive and it will eventually lead to resentment. Happily married couples build on the positives. You also need to remember that everyone has negative traits, including yourself, so treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated.
- Make it a priority to attend a Christian couples retreat regularly. It will be nice to do this on an annual basis. A retreat is a great place to have your marriage restored and refreshed. There is also the opportunity to learn from other couples who have been married longer and kept the happiness in their marriage. In a retreat setting, you are also able to refocus on each other, to listen and communicate openly.
- You should always have God at the center of your life and at the center of your marriage. This means that the Word of God should be your roadmap in all cases. When there is conflict or confusion, the Word of God should be the first and last authority. Obedience to God’s word eventually brings happiness in spite of the fact that it may require self-discipline at first.
- Improve yourself rather than seeking to improve your spouse. Unfortunately, some people enter marriage with the aim of transforming their spouse. It is not practically possible to change anyone; only God can cause any lasting change in a person. Once you decide to become a better person yourself, the first result is that you will be happier, and the next result is that your spouse will most probably be inspired to make some improvements in their own character.
- Never consider divorce as an option. Couples who never see divorce as an option always seek to find a solution for their conflicts because they have already decided that they are in the marriage for the long haul. This is a very special ingredient for a happy marriage because there is an extra effort made by each partner to make things work.