One-on-One

It’s that time of year. Love is in the air and we are getting ready to celebrate Valentines Day. A day to show love to those you care about.

Most parents are out finding little treats, and rounding up little gifts. There will be notes in lunch boxes and backpacks, and lots of red everywhere we look. Maybe we are focusing on the valentines that our children will take to school. Making sure they are just so.

Yes, these are the most common ways we tend to show our children we love them during this Valentine Season. You might be suprised to discover that what our chilrden really want, is not more candy or toys.

If we really want to show our children that we love them, we will spend TIME with them. Time together is the very best gift of love that we can give.

This gift does not need to be wrapped in special paper, or smothered in chocolate and treats. Yet it will fill their souls unlike any thing else. And it will cultivate and inspire relationships between us that will last for ages. It is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

It is easy to become too busy to spend time with our children. It is is easy to look around you house and see the laundry and dishes, and all that is undone. We then tell our selves that there “just isn’t time today.”

But before we know it, today has turned into tomorrow, which turns into years and we have lost our opportunity to show our love to our children, to teach them, and to develop relationships with them.

One on one time will also do much to change your child’s behavior. Spending time with them lets them know that you care, that you love them, and that you are committed to them.It gives us time to listen to them and really hear what they have to say. When they feel as though they are being supported, they are much more likely to commit back to the family and be obedient.

Instead of treats and candy hearts, give your child the gift of time with you.

Here are some keys to successful time with our children.

1.Give each child 15 minutes of ONE-ON-ONE-TIME everyday. Don’t combine your kid’s time. You want to focus on each child individually.

2. This is uninterrupted time. That means, turn off the TV, get off the computer and no cell phones. Refrain from playing Chutes and Ladders while you are checking your email on your phone (not that I have ever done that).

3. Let your children choose the activities. Ask your kids what they want to do. This gives them a choice. It makes them feel in-charge and that they have some control. This is really important to making this ONE-ON-ONE-TIME work. If we tell them what they will do, they feel forced.

In fact, take a minute and sit down with your child. Write down a list of all the things you would/could do together. Keep the list handy so that when the time comes, you aren’t searching for things to do. You can refer to your list for great ideas and get to playing.

4. Be consistent. This is vital. Individual time with our children shouldn’t just happen only on special occasions.

There you have it. If you really want to show your children love, do it by showeing them with TIME. It will build wonderful, long lasting relationships.

 

 

 

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