Dewey Howard, a “Love & Logic” expert and recovering “drill sergeant dad”, and his wife Angela, a recovering “helicopter mom”, have successfully raised 3 kids using the “Love and Logic” parenting method. He now shares his advice in his very popular classes and on our blog-azine.
We, as parents, often say things to our children which are difficult, if not impossible, to enforce. For example, we say things like, “Don’t be so loud!” or “Hurry up!” or “Don’t roll your eyes at me!” and so on.
The only behaviors you can truly control are your own. So next time you want to gain cooperation from your child, try using an enforceable statement. This is when you tell the child what you will do, and what you invite them to do.
“I will be happy to do things for you when I feel treated with respect.”
“I’ll be happy to wash clothes that are placed in the hamper.”
“My car leaves for school at 7:20.”
“I’ll be happy to listen to you when your voice is as calm as mine.”
The wording is different, but your limits and expectations for your kids stay the same. Give it a try and see if it does not raise the odds of getting better reactions from your kids.