Dewey Howard, a “Love & Logic” expert, and his wife Angela have successfully raised 3 kids using the “Love and Logic” parenting method. He now shares his advice in his very popular classes and on our blog-azine.
Somewhere along the line, most of us as parents got the idea we had to be able to come up with immediate responses to our kids’ inappropriate behavior. Unfortunately, good consequences don’t always pop right into our brains. A quick, rash response can sometimes do more harm than no response at all.
At times when no consequence comes to mind, it is much better to take our time and think of an appropriate consequence than to blurt something out in haste or anger. Much-needed time for thinking can be bought with the following words:
- “I’m not sure what to do about this right now. But I’ll let you know.”
- “You know I’ve never been the parent of an eight-year-old boy before. I’ll have to give this some thought. But I’ll get back to you on it.”
- “I’m not sure how to react to that. I’ll have to give it some thought.”
Giving ourselves time to consider consequences helps our kids, too. They have time to agonize over the possible consequences — and that is quality thinking time!