Love & Logic Parenting Corner: Delayed Consequences

Dewey Howard, a “Love & Logic” expert, and his wife Angela have successfully raised 3 kids using the “Love and Logic” parenting method.  He now shares his advice in his very popular classes and on our blog-azine.

Somewhere along the line, most of us as parents got the idea we had to be able to come up with immediate responses to our kids’ inappropriate behavior. Unfortunately, good consequences don’t always pop right into our brains. A quick, rash response can sometimes do more harm than no response at all.

At times when no consequence comes to mind, it is much better to take our time and think of an appropriate consequence than to blurt something out in haste or anger. Much-needed time for thinking can be bought with the following words:

  • “I’m not sure what to do about this right now. But I’ll let you know.”
  • “You know I’ve never been the parent of an eight-year-old boy before. I’ll have to give this some thought. But I’ll get back to you on it.”
  • “I’m not sure how to react to that. I’ll have to give it some thought.”

Giving ourselves time to consider consequences helps our kids, too. They have time to agonize over the possible consequences — and that is quality thinking time!




  1. 1
    Janet W. says:

    I love the saying tips you gave. I think giving it time really makes them think about what they did before you tell them their consequence. Great post!

  2. 2

    I totally needed to read this today! I have a problem blurting things out at the spur of the moment when the kids do something out of control. I need to breathe, think, and decide.

  3. 3
    Andrea says:

    Think before you speak. I’m going to need to remember this as my daughter grows up and the hard discipline begins.

  4. 4

    This is definitely something I’ll be keeping in mind in the upcoming years as my daughter gets a bit older. I’m usually pretty good about keeping my cool and not lashing out when angry, but I’m sure there will be times she’ll be testing me on that. 😉

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