Love & Logic Parenting Corner: Consequences with Empathy

Don’t pave the path, trying to remove obstacles and potholes along the way.  Rather, shape the child for the (inevitable) path that lies ahead.

Dewey Howard, a “Love & Logic” expert and recovering “drill sergeant dad”, and his wife Angela, a recovering “helicopter mom”, have successfully raised 3 kids using the “Love and Logic” parenting method.  He now shares his advice in his very popular classes and on our blog-azine.

Consequences, with heavy doses of empathy from us as parents, are some of the best? ways for kids to learn from their mistakes (a.k.a., Significant Learning Opportunities).  You can help make their learning most meaningful if the consequence is a natural extension of the behavior. How do I know if it is a logical consequence or not?

  1. Is it tied to the time or place of the misbehavior?
  2. Is it similar to what would happen to an adult who acted that way in the “real world”? (Running through the house may deserve a “speeding ticket.”)
  3. Ask yourself, “What would happen if I didn’t do anything about the misbehavior?”
  4. Will the child feel that he is the one who has caused his pain? “Who made me hurt like this? Oh, I did!” Or will he be able to blame the adult imposing a punishment?
  5. Is a loss of privileges expressed in a positive way? (“Oh, how sad! Only kids who can take care of their toys get to play with them.”)

Make your parenting count. Behaviors have consequences – good and bad. Make sure your kids have the opportunity to experience both.


Comments

  1. 1
    Heather says:

    Good reminder and advice.

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