Love & Logic Parenting Corner: Mistakes

In the next several weeks, we will have short parenting tip segments like these written by Dewey Howard, a “Love & Logic” expert.  He and his wife Angela have successfully raised 3 kids using this parenting method, and he now shares his advice in his very popular classes.

Introduction:

What is Love and Logic Parenting? It is not some magic formula for raising kids. It is not a fail-safe approach to producing kids who turn out “right.” There is no such thing as “perfect parenting.”

Love and Logic is a parenting philosophy, along with practical techniques, that raise the odds of rearing responsible children. It equips parents with tools that increase their effectiveness as parents. Early in a child’s life, love is shown through protection. As a child grows, parents must make a transition to allow the child to solve his/her own problems, make decisions, and control self.

Increase your odds for raising responsible kids.

Tip #1: MISTAKES

Does your child make enough mistakes? Many children do not. Let me repeat it, your child does not make enough mistakes! (I know what you’re thinking: “Have you lost your mind?!”)

Too many kids have well-meaning parents who do their best to keep their child from making mistakes. But this may not be the best thing for a child.

Love and Logic parents gradually develop an appreciation for the value of mistakes. There is no need to warn, threaten, remind, and stay on a child every minute of the day. Instead, they think, “Oh, how lucky. You made a mistake. I can’t wait to see how wise you become.”

Dad talked with his son: “I heard you were tardy to school today. Wow, that’s so sad. I bet it that was hard. I know how bad I feel when I am late for work. What do you think you can do to make it on time for school tomorrow?”

No lectures. No threats. No “punishment.” The consequences of your child’s mistakes are often the best teacher. My job as a parent is to come alongside, guiding and nurturing my child’s learning experiences.

Mistakes are not fatal. They are Significant Learning Opportunities whereby kids gain valuable lessons about how the world works and how their actions affect themselves and others in this world.

So don’t dread your child’s next mistake. You know its coming. Rejoice, because you now have an opportunity to guide him in significant life discoveries.

Comments

  1. 1
    Betty Baez says:

    Great post! I think a lot of parents need to be reminded that it’s ok to make mistakes

  2. 2
    Marcie W. says:

    What a perfectly timed post!! Over the past few days here in Las Vegas it’s been pretty darn hot, think mid 90s, and today was supposed to be much cooler in the low 70s with a cool breeze throughout the day. My oldest (almost 8) makes getting ready for school a daily battle thanks to her love of fashion and accessories. It’s almost the end of the school year and I’m exhausted with this daily issue so today when she argued she didn’t have PE and wanted to wear a dress, despite me saying numerous times that it was TOO cold out, I allowed it. Her choice, her being cold all day, HER mistake.

  3. 3
    Janet W. says:

    I love your statement that mistakes are “Significant Learning Opportunities”. Very true!

  4. 4
    Bekah Kuczenski says:

    This philosophy seems so much different then that of other parenting philosophies ive read about, but seems to make sense id be interested in learning more!

  5. 5
    Alina says:

    Great post. Definitely something to thing about :)

  6. 6
    Andrea says:

    “Learn from your mistakes.” That’s what my parents always told me growing up. I hope that I can allow my children to make mistakes and nurture them rather than scold them so they can learn and grow.

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