Chocolate Salami

Okay, don’t get alarmed.  I know chocolate and salami don’t really go together.  This dessert has NO meat, despite the name, is supereasy, and requires no cooking.  It looks similar to well, salami, and it seriously tastes good.  Sorry I don’t have another name for it – I’ve just called it this all my life (my Portuguese grandmother made it on special occasions), even though it doesn’t sound too appealing.   Just like raw cookie dough or brownie batter, it does contain raw egg, so be cautioned (I haven’t eaten this in years due to being pregnant or nursing, but oh, how I crave it!).

(For my sister who graduates from college today… a long, long time ago we used to impatiently wait for the salami to properly freeze, then devour the entire roll in one afternoon.)

Ingredients:

1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 large egg, well beaten
1 stick of butter
3/4 cup granulated sugar (adjust the amount to your own taste, more if you like it sweeter or less if you like it to taste more like a bitter dark chocolate)
1 7-oz package/roll of Maria cookies (You can use any variety of shortbread or butter cookies.  Maria cookies taste a bit like animal crackers but a bit more buttery, and are generally found in most regular grocery store cookie aisles.)
1 T vanilla extract
Optional: Add 3 tablespoons of chopped toasted almonds or hazelnut to mixture before forming.

Directions:

  1. In a sauce pan, melt the butter over low heat while stirring.  Add in sugar and mix well to dissolve.  Allow this mixture to cool to lukewarm.  This is an important step, otherwise the egg will cook.
  2. Pour into a large bowl.
  3. Add the egg and vanilla extract and mix well (and optional nuts).
  4. Stir in the cocoa powder, little by little.  After mixing well, it should start to look a little like dough.  If it doesn’t adjust by adding splashes of water to a too thick mix or more cocoa powder if too thin and runny.
  5. In a ziplock bag, place the cookies and close tightly.  Carefully use a rolling pin, mallet or other blunt object to roll or even beat the bag into submission.  No, really, you want to roll over the bag to make the cookies into crumbs (not into a powdery mess, but crumbs the size of miniature chocolate chips).
  6. Add the crumbled cookie to the chocolate mixture.  With your hands, knead the cookies into the chocolate mixture well.  Again, adjust with a splash of water if too thick.
  7. Place on top of wax paper and start to form into a long log of salami.  Roll and mold it with your hands until it is at your desired thickness and length.
  8. Wrap foil over the chocolate log, twisting at the ends.
  9. Put in the freezer for a couple of hours until firm and set (that’s the hardest part of the directions).
  10. With a serrated knife, cut the salami log (with the foil on) into thin slices.
  11. Devour eat the slices (after peeling the foil, of course).
  12. Store any uneaten portions (ha!) in the freezer or refrigerator.

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